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Plot-free zone: Benedict Cumberbatch (right) and Martin Freeman as Holmes and Watson in "Sherlock" 

The most popular and critically acclaimed drama British television produces lacks drama's basic component: a coherent plot. Few care. Commissioning editors and the viewing public acclaim Sherlock's creators Steven Moffat and Mark Gatiss. The press loves them so much it covered their last series as if it were breaking news.

To give you an idea of how slapdash and infantile their writing is, consider one episode of the BBC programme, The Empty Hearse. Sherlock Holmes returns from the dead, after seemingly dying with Moriarty. We find him in a dictatorship for reasons the authors do not bother to explain. His brother Mycroft, a minor figure in the Conan Doyle stories, but an establishment fixer who is everywhere in the television adaptation, saves him from torture. How a civil servant gets from Whitehall to a Slav prison is unexplained again. Holmes returns to London where Watson has found a new girlfriend. Unbeknown to him, she is a former assassin, who killed for the CIA, as so many girls do these days. Rather than tell the viewer straight how Holmes escaped from death with Moriarty, Moffat and Gatiss offer multiple theories they lifted from Sherlock's fanatical and rather creepy internet tribute sites. So determined are they to "interact" with the audience rather than allow their actors to act that they go on to put a group of obsessive fans into the script.

For a motive that the writers do not share with the audience until the final episode of the series, and then only cursorily, unknown men kidnap Watson and leave him bound and gagged inside a giant bonfire, which will soon be set alight unless Holmes gets there in time. The actual mystery Holmes is meant to be solving takes up less than a quarter of the programme. It is something about the North Koreans wanting to blow up the Houses of Parliament for reasons that yet again remain mysterious. In that same final episode, Watson's new love comes out as an ex-CIA assassin. Moriarty tops that by coming out from his grave. He announces his resurrection by taking over every TV and computer screen in Britain.

In Conan Doyle's stories, the crime is everything. In the modern adaptation it takes third place. The most important task for the writers is to throw in tense relationships between Holmes and Watson, Holmes and Mycroft, Holmes and Mycroft and their parents, Watson and his fiancée, Holmes and possible lovers. Sub-plots come next, appearing and disappearing like water in the sand.

The sight of the most logical of detectives reduced to playing in a zany crime caper was miserable to watch. The first task of a writer is to create an imaginary world that makes sense in its own terms. Conan Doyle might have been offering advice to writers when he had Holmes say to Watson: "How often have I said to you that when you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth?" Moffat and Gatiss cannot produce  plots that, however improbable, feel true — and don't even try.

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January 2nd, 2016
10:01 AM
Oh, my, this Nick person is a compete idiot. Why on earth am I following him on Twitter? Sherlock is a brilliant show in all aspects, unlike this super boring and senseless review.

April 5th, 2014
4:04 PM
"We find him in a dictatorship for reasons the authors do not bother to explain. His brother Mycroft, a minor figure in the Conan Doyle stories, but an establishment fixer who is everywhere in the television adaptation, saves him from torture. How a civil servant gets from Whitehall to a Slav prison is unexplained again." In fact, both of these things are explained. This gives you some idea of how closely Nick Cohen paid attention to the show before launching into a run of the mill "everyone thinks it's great so I'll seem cleverer than them by rubbishing it" hatchet job.

Pat Poynton
February 27th, 2014
11:02 AM
Oh how I agree! I gave up after the first one of this series. Tiresome and tedious

February 27th, 2014
11:02 AM
I have to agree there was much to much dicking about as I call it. I kept on wanting them to stop this stuff and get on with the task, i.e. solving the case. It was most frustrating.

David Smyth
February 27th, 2014
10:02 AM
Good show though.

February 26th, 2014
3:02 PM
Nick, what you're asking for is not plot, but to have everything explained to you. That is not storytelling, that is exposition. It's this demand that everything be laid out in front of us that is making TV stupid. Sherlock had plot in spades, it just wasn't rammed down the viewer's throat. Concentration was required, clues had to be spotted and there was much to distract us from them - amusing subplots for one. Sadly, and ironically given the point of view this post takes, many people missed the complexities because they were busy complaining on Twitter that the series lacked crime, plot and complexity. From a wider point of view, I find it baffling anyone could criticise a programme for investing in human drama. What do you want? Robots solving crosswords? I also get the impression that you don't have an extensive knowledge of the Holmes canon - the more plot-focused novels are dull and poorly written. The short stories are often more playful and do have more of a focus on the relationship between the two men. Perhaps you'd prefer someone just to sit and read the stories aloud? Finally, your certainty that Moriarty rose from the grave at the end of the last series shows you simply weren't paying attention. But like the best mysteries, I leave you to work that one out for yourself...

John Matthews
February 26th, 2014
2:02 PM
Haven't they said from the outset its a not about the crime and sleuthing its about the detective? Agree with you on the internet is depleting our attention span, it was only last night when ... oh what's that out the window? A squirrel I'm off

February 26th, 2014
2:02 PM
You write that people are reluctant to sit through a whole film, but an episode of sherlock is feature length. Surely if the goal was to mimic the short attention span of the internet they would be released in half hour segments. The original stories where largely released as serializations meaning that people didn't have to commit too much time at once in order to enjoy them.

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